a wedding...

I was incredibly relieved; thrilled in fact! I had received a brief form of contact from Renji. I think he’d realised my worry. He sent me a message telling me that he was sorry for not contacting me; and that I am his one and only. I won’t tell any lies; this imminently made me feel better.

Things were going great with Kisuke too! I still ate dinner with him very often; which I was doing again on this particular evening.
‘Kisuke!’ I sang his name as I quietly slipped through the shop door.
‘Good evening Miki!’ he bounced around the corner with a cheerful spring in his step. He seemed delighted to see me too; which was incredibly pleasing.

As the evening continued, we ate dinner and talked as per usual. He explained to me how he was struggling to find someone that would wed him and Teyln:
‘I still haven’t found someone yet Miki…’ An emotion of sadness covered his face; I couldn’t bare to witness it.

When I left the children’s home; in which I grew up, I went from job to job; and a vicar was one of them.
‘I’ll do it!’
‘really?! I didn’t realise you had the authority…’ I had always hated when a male questioned my authority… But because it was Kisuke; I didn’t mind.
‘I do, and I’d be more than happy to!’ The wedding conversation continued as the evening progressed.

I arrived home in a good mood; I was terribly excited for Kisukes wedding (mainly because it gave me an excuse to purchase a new outfit…). But at the back of my mind, I couldn’t forget Renji. I was in love; and it was obvious. I was impatient to begin family life with him; I wanted him to feel the same…

Unusual behaviour.

After the good news, I didn’t speak to Renji much; at all in fact. Instead I had been spending quite a lot of time with the local shop owner I had previously be-friended -Kisuke Urahara. Definitely not in that way, he is nothing more than a good friend; a best friend in fact.
‘Kisuke, how are things!’ I barged into the shop at full speed; I couldn’t wait to see him!
‘Hey lil mamma!’ A tall blonde haired man crept around the corner, wearing an emerald green striped hat and wooden sandals on his feet. Yep; that was Kisuke!
‘Something smells good in here!’ I loved Kisukes cooking, he made the best meals. This was ideal being as I now had the appetite of a hippo, as a result of being pregnant. He offered to make me dinner quite a lot; this also meant I didn’t have to spend the cold evenings alone in my apartment.

I didn’t mind sharing secrets with Kisuke. He was a good listener, and a good talker. I knew that whatever I did tell him; he would keep a secret. I began visiting him a lot more, I enjoyed his company.
‘I’ve met someone Miki’ I won’t deceive you, I was happy for him; but a part of me didn’t want to hear this. Not now, not ever. He was ‘my’ Kisuke.
‘Really? Who is she? Do I know her?’ there were so many questions I was itching to ask.
‘Yes, you know her’ he briefly admitted, as he shuffled over to the table and began pouring me a glass of iced tea, ‘It’s Teyln’. Teyln? She was a nice girl; but I wasn’t surprised. She had many qualities that out-shone mine. For example, she was blonde, beautiful and radiant; I was ginger haired, with green eyes and freckles. I found it completely unusual that Renji found me attractive.
‘Wow, I’m really happy for you Kisuke.’ I smiled.
‘I want to propose to her.’
‘Well, do it! What’s stopping you?’  I had never been much good at giving advice, because I was usually on the receiving end.

I left Kisukes shop a few hours later; I had made the decision to spend the night alone in my apartment.

As I sat there I thought about Renji; where was he? Or more importantly, why hasn’t he made the slightest effort to contact me? I slowly fell asleep in the armchair as a result of thinking too much; hopefully he’s still interested in me…

I need to tell you something...

‘I need to tell you something…’
Myself and Renji had been together for a few weeks now, and things had been going perfectly well, until now. The same old negative thoughts began chasing each other around my mind.
‘What is the matter?’ Biting my top lip as I questioned him, I was eager to retrieve the answer.
‘Actually, It doesn’t matter now, I’ll ask you another time’ a grin formed across is face as he spoke, he’d realized how eager I was, and he decided to use that eagerness against me.
‘Renji! If you don’t tell me now, it will be sat on my shoulders for the rest of the day, and I’m under enough stress as it is…’ I tried to demonstrate my best ‘puppy dog face’ as I stroked my stomach, and it worked. He peeled himself from his seat and advanced in my direction.
‘Come on, tell me please?’ I pleaded as much as humanly possible. He put my face in the palm of his hands, and slowly but tenderly pressed his lips against mine.
‘All in good time my love’ He slowly moved his hands in a downwards motion, progressing towards the lumbar of my back.
‘I have no patience…remember?’
‘I remember…’ He leaned in and instantly deepened the kiss, but I pulled away, still eager to find out.
‘Tell me!’ I was getting slightly angry now.
‘Alright, come and sit down’ He wrapped his hand around my wrist, and gently directed me towards the sofa. We sat close to each other. I stared into his eyes, eagerly waiting for him to reveal what he had been keeping from me.
‘So, what was it?’ He placed his hand on top of mine, and looked directly into my eyes; it felt like he was looking right through me, like he could read my soul, with no effort.
‘I want you, and baby, I want us to be together forever’ I simply nodded, I didn’t want to interrupt. What? I knew all of this already, surely he needed to tell me something of greater importance-and he did.
‘I want us to live together Miki.’ I was shocked into silence, or I was ‘speechless’. ‘Come and live with me.’
‘B-but do you have the room?’ The stutters were the result of being shocked.
‘Of course I do, there is a spare room that is waiting to be decora-‘He couldn’t finish his sentence, I clung onto him so tightly that I had managed to cut off his air supply. I slowly leaned backwards in order to view his facial expression; instead I leaned in towards his face and kissed him softly.
‘I love you Renji Abarai.’ I was the happiest that I had ever been, it was like my whole life had been mapped out in front of me, I couldn’t wait to put the plans to action…

the beginning of forever.

I had spent one night with Renji Abarai-that was it. We had only made love once on this particular night, and I won't deceive you, it was wonderful.

I was new in town; I decided to move there so that I could escape the ghosts of my past, and be close to my only friend, Harumi Ichinose. Other than her, I didn't know many people. I had be-friended the local shop owner, Kisuke Urahara, he was a male, but nothing more than a friend. Besides, I didn't have time to consider Kisuke; my mind was completely consumed with thoughts of Renji Abarai.

It had been a week since I had spoken to him. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face. I was worried that he may not contact me. That this wonderful night we had shared, had just been a meaningless fling to him. I wandered into the kitchen, and nervously scanned my calendar to check if I had made any plans, which I hadn't, but at this same moment, I noticed something that was slightly worrying. My period was 5 days late, which only meant one thing. I froze; I couldn’t bring myself to consider having a child, for numerous reasons. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t call him and confess. I was too nervous.
 If I did tell him, it might frighten him. Everyone knows that the male species biggest fear is commitment. And I couldn’t obtain the thought of having an abortion, in my mind; it was another form of murder.  I was in a bit of a pickle, or in other words, I was completely and utterly f*cked.

I made the penultimate decision to contact him, not by phone, but by text. I told him we needed to talk; urgently. To which he replied, ‘I’ll be round in a moment’. I nervously perched on the end of my arm chair; my body language was so tense. You could’ve read me like a book.
His knock was as loud as a thunder clap, causing me to jump out of my seat. I quickly shuffled towards the door; I opened it to reveal a tall man, with scarlet red hair, that had been neatly scraped back into a black hairband. As I closed the door, it clicked softly as the metal hinges contracted. I spoke first.
‘We need to talk.’ I tried to sound assertive, but I kept loosing myself in his deep brown eyes.
‘We do indeed, I’m really sorry that I haven’t made the slightest effort to contact you, I have been trying to gather my thoughts’. I wasn’t sure what he meant by this, had he been thinking about me? Or just about the night in general? I advanced into the living room, and sat in the closest possible armchair. Renji perched himself in the opposite armchair, which he altered to face myself.
‘So, what was it that you needed to tell me so urgently?’ he sounded slightly annoyed, which made me suitably nervous. Okay, this was my time to ‘come clean’. I didn’t want to sugar coat the facts, so I just came right out and told him.
‘I-I think I may be pregnant’. His settled facial expression quickly formed into one of rage.
‘You’re pregnant, AREADY?’ to my surprise he quickly calmed down, now it seemed that he had some news of his own.
‘Well, as long as were confessing, I have something to tell you’. I didn’t know what to expect, I guess you could say I was in fear of the unknown.
‘I can’t stop thinking about you’. That was a relief! ‘Over this past week, I have thought of nothing else. And now, you’re pregnant, it’s just made everything so much better.’ He paused to give me a chance to share my thoughts, I said nothing. I simply nodded. ‘I know we have only known each other for a short amount of time but, I think you’re the woman for me.’ He rose from his seat, and began walking towards me. He leaned over me, dominating me. He kissed my lips tenderly.

‘I love you Miki Kobayashi.’ And that was it. It was all I needed. I could continue my life knowing that this man, the father of my baby, was in love with me.